There was no escaping the scrutiny of those around me. To outsiders we were simply roommates, but the pressure from family and colleagues to live a 'normal' life was still so great that I was briefly engaged to a woman I worked with before breaking things off. I bought a condo, and eventually met a partner online who moved in with me. Gradually, I had been building a life independent of my family. The flag had become a symbol of hope that transcended language and place.Īfter university, I landed a good job at the headquarters of a major bank. It brought me some comfort to know there were places where that flag, and people like me, were accepted. The morning after my suicide attempt, I awoke knowing that from that day forward I would only rely on myself to survive.ĭuring those dark times, I often found myself reaching for that hidden picture of the rainbow flag. With little hope for the future, I tried taking my own life.īut I lived. I was raised as a religious person, and I had trouble accepting this part of myself and felt overwhelmed by constant criticism and abuse. On top of the verbal and physical assaults, I felt torn about who I was. Me being gay was hard for them to understand. Eventually, even my family members began to direct anger over my sexual orientation at me. Gay people in Iran could be imprisoned or executed.īy 18, I was being bullied and beaten by classmates, and yet I kept the bruises hidden from my family because they didn't know I was gay.
For a man to even wear a T-shirt out in public was considered shameful. In the years following the Iranian Revolution, my country was very conservative. Many of my earliest memories are related to conflict, religion, prejudice, and fear. I grew up in Shiraz, Iran, where my childhood was shaped by the Iran-Iraq War. Transfixed, I tore the photo out of the magazine and hid it in my wallet where no one would see it. Seeing the joyful colours of the flag for the first time filled me with unexplainable hope. But as I scanned the photo of a large crowd protesting, I noted the word 'Gay' for the first time, alongside the rainbow Pride flag. Growing up in Iran, I didn't speak English, and didn't understand the article. The first time I saw a Pride flag was in a magazine my friend gave me with a photo of Michael Jackson on the cover.